
It would be an enormous challenge for any author to compete with the iconic Dr. Seuss. One of the first books of his that my mother read to me was, “And to Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street.” As young Marco is walking to school he sees a plain horse and wagon. In his imagination, it morphs into an elephant pulling a sleigh that races by—followed by an entire circus. So enamored was I with Dr. Seuss and that book that when I was old enough to start school and our class had “Show and Tell”—I told some whoppers! The camel I rode to school, the lion that chased me. Instead of admitting that I forgot to bring my sack lunch to school, I told the teacher that a lion chased me and I fed it my peanut butter sandwich to stick its teeth together so it couldn’t bite me.
I have cataract surgery scheduled for next week. I will miss that cataract. I’ve seen some amazing sights through my foggy lens. Sightings of large black panthers have been reported around the UK, mostly in England. I had my own sighting recently walking Savannah. Except mine turned out to be a large tree stump with new ear-shaped growth on both sides of it.
Tonight, I discovered a small new glass dish that I didn’t know we had. We don’t. When I attempted to pick it up…it turned into a reflection on the bottom of another bowl.
Fortunately, I don’t have a cell phone, and thus don’t carry one on my walks, because I saw a robber hiding behind a trailer waiting to break into a house on our street. Since I didn’t have a phone, I couldn’t hit the speed dial and connect to the police department, which was fortunate. It was actually a tall, thin black bin with rope tied around the overspill to keep the wind from scattering it.
Then there is the sign at the corner of an adjoining street that became a man in an overcoat walking toward me; the cute little hedgehog that transformed into a street sweeping brush turned upside down; the leftover fried chicken in the fridge that disappointingly turned into a dollop of leftover mashed potatoes topped with gravy.
And the crowning adventure: I took Savannah on a long walk a few nights ago and became lost. We’ve lived here for nearly five years. For one thing, after Guy Fawks Night last year on November 5, Savannah was so traumatized by fireworks that she quit going on walks at night. Eventually, the days grew lighter, and she resumed her evening walks. However, now the days are short again. After Savannah and I left—darkness fell. I hadn’t been out walking in our neighborhood at night for nearly a year. And my cataract shattered the light from the line of streetlights into hundreds of strange shapes that warped everything I saw. So…I was lost.
Fortunately, a teen with a skateboard rescued me. Says I, “Could you tell me where the school is?”
Says she with a stare that would wilt a newly picked cabbage, “You’re standing in front of it.” Then—probably fearing I was a potential kidnapper opening up an absurd line of conversation—she fled.
I turned around. I was standing in front of the street sign for our road.
Yes, indeed. I’m no Dr. Seuss—but I will miss my cataract. It’s been an adventure.
Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update
Oh Steph, this made me laugh so much. I had my cataracts done thirteen years ago now, and I remember the things I saw too so well. It’s amazing what a bin can become, and then there were the sheep that were actually deckchairs, the child that was a road island bollard and the dead birds that were plastic bags. Oh wait! I still have those problems. Haha. I had my cataracts done to conform with my sight as it was before cataracts. Still need glasses for distance, but not for home and computer work. I hope your op goes well, my friend, look after that eye!
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Thanks, Val! Glad it made you laugh. Yes, there were a few more episodes the past few days…but no sheep! Thanks for being such a great friend. God bless.
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I for one… will be glad when you can see clearly again, Steph. Had I known you were seeing such things and couldn’t even find your way home, I would have been worrying about you all the way from Houston.
Even without the cataract, judging by the fabulous tales you’ve written, I don’t think your imagination won’t suffer one bit. You just keep on writing and thinking things up. But stay safe until your surgery. I’ll be praying for a speedy recovery.
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Thanks so much, Sharon. You are a lovely friend in the Lord and lovely inside and out. Thanks for the encouragement. God bless you.
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God bless you, Alan, and Savannah. You’re all on my prayer list. Keep us posted on the surgery, how Alan is doing, and Savannah. I hope her appetite has returned.
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