It Must Be Love

He’s not the same man I married who would grab my hand and run up and down steps with me, camera in hand as he stopped to shoot the best possible angle or photograph a memory. Now he sits in his chair, and I do the running—get the shoes, get a glass of water, get a snack, bring the mail, get clean clothes—again. It must be love.

He’s not the same man I married who wrote five books in the first five years of our marriage. Now he asks me five times a day what day it is, and I attempt to respond patiently and gently five times a day—plus answer the same number of questions about what we are having for lunch, for dinner, and what the names are of family members across the water. It must be love.

He’s not the same man I married who used to walk along the firth with me collecting firewood to collect and take home to cut up for the fireplace. Who used to walk our dog while I fixed meals. Who took the trash and recycle out to the bin and drove into town to get groceries. He hasn’t driven in two years now and he can’t walk. I take out the trash and recycle, walk the dog several times a day, drive into town to pick up groceries and prescriptions. It must be love.

He’s not the same man I married who helped vacuum, dust, and even washed dishes occasionally. Now I do all the vacuuming, cooking, cleaning, dog-walking, shopping—plus all the new things that need to be done for a spouse who is unable to walk or do anything for himself. It must be love.

He’s not the same man I married who took me to visit hidden gems around Scotland, looked for the Loch Ness Monster with me, planned to take me to Rome, looked forward to vacations, decorated for Christmas. Now we can’t decorate for Christmas because there is not enough room to add decorations with the mobility equipment he needs. Now we stay at home and I plan and schedule doctor visits for him and make sure he gets his pills on time every time—five times a day. It must be love.

He’s not the man I married who enjoyed the intimacy of marriage. Now his body is bent over like a capital ‘C,’ and his knees have folded into frog legs and kissing him is a challenge because he can’t straighten up his head. It must be love.

Doctors call it Parkinson’s Disease. They call it myeloma—blood cancer. But I say—it must be love.

Love is not a mushy, gushy feeling with heart pounding, hands sweating, eyes sparkling. Love is being there. Love is putting the other person first.

Love is what the Bible says it is in 1 Corinthians 13: “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

That is love.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

Crutches

Atheists attack Christians for using their faith as a “crutch.” Having just completed a 4,000-mile trip to visit family in the U.S., I am forever indebted to crutches.

US & Texas Flags

Not that I initially planned to include crutches on the trip. Oh, no! This Texan was going to meet family standing tall and straight in her own strength and leave the crutches at home. However, while I was born Texan, one hip must have come from a neighboring state. When we left on the trip, the crutches traveled with us. What a blessing they were!

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

First, they helped me walk – especially on those long stretches through multiple airports. An unexpected benefit was preferential treatment. I never requested help. I confidentially swung along the endless corridors on metal crutches. Airport personnel, however, put Alan and I at the front of the lines and even changed our seats to the front of the plane for one flight. On two of the flights, we would have missed our connections had it not been for the hated crutches. We were personally walked through the additional boarding pass we needed and then Security by an American Airlines employee (I called him our angel since the plane was already boarding by the time we got there). Next, we were whisked through the endless reaches of airport terminals on a wheelchair – or at least – I was in the wheelchair. Without that “crutch,” we would have missed our flight.

Victory riders #2

Visiting SeaWorld with granddaughter Dulcinea and her mom won further accolades for the resented crutches. Crutches transformed into a wheelchair which sent us to the front of long lines. It was not planned, it just happened. While I had eschewed the use of crutches on the trip and feared they would be an embarrassment – my granddaughter and her mom were thrilled at how beneficial they proved.

Alan, Fl wild

But the main benefit of crutches proved my restored belief in people’s kindness. Everywhere I walked on crutches, strangers of both sexes and every ethnicity rushed to help me. With smiling faces and sympathetic nods, they lifted and carried my bags and opened doors. With all the negative news focusing on violence and hatred around the world, what a blessing to find out that kindness is alive and operating generously.

Alan w everyone

I’ve repented and asked God’s forgiveness for my resentful attitude about the crutches. Even though I know and believe my two favorite Bible verses, “in everything give thanks,” and “all things work together for good to those who love the Lord,” my pride took a hit from my mobility weakness. God transformed the crutchy experience into a beneficial one.

thorny love.JPG

Another favorite verse of mine has always been “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5 & 6.

So…is Christianity a crutch? Hey, who cares? Crutches rock!

http://www.amazon.com/Stephanie-Parker-McKean/e/B00BOX90OO/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_