The Writing Life: Letting the Pain Live Again

Even in works of fiction, most writers reveal hidden parts of themselves and their lives within their creative output. Sometimes that means letting the pain live again.

Some folks have asked me why I don’t write an autobiography. The answer? There are things about my past I don’t want anyone to know.

Some folks have pointed out that I don’t need to include everything; I could pick and choose segments of my life. For example, childhood pets included snakes, monkeys, opossums, a skunk, a jaguarondi, a racoon, a fox—and an African lion which threw me to the ground and bit me on my stomach. There are interesting stories connected to all of the above. For example, my secret college crush who “rescued” me from the lion forever avoided me after that incident. And, the day after appearing on a TV program to explain how to tell a poisonous snake from a harmless one, I caught a snake at the pond in an attempt to identify it. The snake bit me. It was a water moccasin. I spent the rest of the day in the hospital.

But there are other incidents and events that I choose not to share.

I have now written 49 books, almost all of them Christian Cozy Mysteries. Animals grace the pages of most of them, and our grey fox Tandy inspired “Fox on the Roof Murder.” Several of our wild animal pets figured into “All the Colors of Murder.”

My newest book, however, “Hole to Hell Mystery,” opens up a part of my past that I usually keep locked away where it can’t hurt me; the extreme childhood sexual abuse I suffered from a person who should have protected me—my father. This includes the abortions he—with no medical training or expertise—performed on me to hide his crime, and my resulting close calls with bleeding to death. Sometimes, to write something meaningful, you must let the pain live again.

“Hole to Hell Mystery” is all mystery, all suspense.

From a fellow author’s review, “What resonates most is the way your portrayal of two estranged sisters is paired with a relentless, high-stakes mystery. From their fractured upbringing marked by abuse and abandonment to the dangers that confront them as they investigate their father’s murder, the work blends emotional depth with narrative tension, ensuring readers feel invested, unsettled, and deeply moved rather than merely entertained.”

From a publicist, “Two estranged sisters must confront their painful past while investigating their father’s murder only to discover that the truth may destroy them both.”

Good to get praise for the book after opening up the past to let the pain live again.

“All things work together for good to those who love the Lord.” Romans 8:28.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

Epiphanies

tree for blog on hardship

Epiphanies can happen anywhere, which is why the Merriam Webster Dictionary defines them as “sudden” striking understandings of something. My newest epiphany hit when I noted a towering tree with scared bark as I walked our dog. Irregularities made the tree unique, beautiful and strong.

God did not send storms to shake the roots of that tree and to twist and mar the bark, but He allowed the storms to mold the tree into perfection and beauty. So, too, with our lives. God doesn’t make bad things happen to us. But because this is a sin-sick world, bad things happen.

CroftMurders_CVR_SML

Fleeing sexual and physical abuse at home, I ran away and lived under a bridge in the Texas Hill Country, painting signs for meals. I never went hungry. When flash floods came, I had to drive my pickup truck out from under the bridge and live in it on a back street. Those early hardships molded my life as a writer. I will be releasing book number 23, a Christian Cozy Mystery-Romance this week. God’s word never fails, is never wrong. God uses the worst part of our lives to build the best. “All things work together for good to those who love the Lord.” Romans 8:28

home under bridge

No shakes, twists, mars, or scars are wasted in God’s perfect purpose for our lives.

aspin tree & purple

https://www.amazon.com/Stephanie-Parker-McKean/e/B00BOX90OO/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

I Didn’t Want to Run Today

I didn’t want to run today. I never do. It’s hard.

Weight control and general physical wellness benefit from running – so I run. Today was no exception; I didn’t want to run. Blessings followed obedience.

First, I met an 88-year-old neighbor who had suffered a stroke. Immediately following the stroke, he wobbled when he walked. Post-stroke challenges were hard. Determined to recover, he set up his own physical therapy regimen – golf. Now he strides along with confidence. Using partly speech and partly sign language, he informed me today that he and his 87-year-old friend play 18 holes four days a week. It was cold and blustery today – but he looked as brightly happy as a spring daffodil.

Then I met a stranger pushing her dad along in his wheelchair and taking their dog on a walk. We stopped and exchanged greetings. As I ran on down the road I reflected on how good and kind people can be. The news is full of bad-sad stories including the threat of war in the Ukraine, child and homeless abuse; alcohol and drug addiction; crooked politics, and violent crimes. Yet, because God’s Spirit is stronger on behalf of good than satan’s is on evil, people reflect God’s mercy and grace.

My most inspirational running discovery was The Trees. Surely had The Trees been given a choice of where they wanted to be planted, they would not have chosen the rocky soil on the side of Moray Firth that is buffeted nonstop by wind and gales. Because the wind has rocked them over the years, The Trees have sent their roots down into the soil so deeply that they can absorb water and nutrients. Needles on The Trees are glossy green with vibrant health. The trunks are solid, twisted into artistic compositions that shout victory over hardship. The Trees have endured hardships.

Hardships are often God’s blessings in disguise. Psalm 119:67 says, “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word.”

Some people think I’ve had a had a hard life: sexually abused as a child; nearly dying from two forced non-medically supervised abortions as a teen; running away from home and living under a bridge to escape abuse; being a single-parent and working two to three jobs at the same time; losing a husband to cancer; having my home and property stolen; and most heartbreaking – losing my awesome son, 37, in a plane crash. Yet God has used those trials to shake my roots – like The Trees – and grow me into His pattern, able to face the gales unafraid because I know God is in Control.

Childhood fears and memories inspired my newest Christian mystery-romance-suspense, Fear of Shadows. Sexual abuse and forced abortions inspired pro-life adventure-romance Love’s Beating Heart, which readers have called “inspirational” and “life-changing.”

Between now and March 8, Smashwords is offering both Fear of Shadows and Love’s Beating Heart – FREE.

No one owns a monopoly on hardship. Life is challenging. When hardship knocks, remember that trials are often God’s blessings in disguise – and open the door.

Love’s Beating Heart: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/307104

Fear of Shadows: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/387341

Image

Sand and Storms

Where we live, the sand along the beach is wet, smooth and flat—until gale force winds blow.

 Strong winds change the sand, swirling it into patterns and pushing it up around rocks and pebbles. When this happens, the beach changes. Interesting patterns and textures emerge, replacing the mundane scenery with sand pictures and a kaleidoscope landscape of infinite variety.

 Our lives are much the same. Left in peace and comfort, the pages of our life turn in humdrum sameness. Nothing new, nothing scary, nothing unsettled. But when the winds of adversity howl around us, the landscape of our lives suddenly change. Like seagrass along the shore, we must dig roots deeper, strengthen fiber, stand resolutely against the storm. When the wind hushes to a whisper and the sand quits blowing blindingly, we have grown. We have changed. We are stronger.

 We could live out our lives in comfort and peace if storms never battered us. But we would be like weeds growing up through mulch—protected—but with shallow roots that hinder maturity.

 God-sent wind and storms should not alarm, frighten or discourage us. Just as God promises in Romans 8:28, “All things work together for good to those who love the LORD.”

 Nor should man-made storms alarm, frighten, or discourage us. God does not send every storm that comes into our lives. Sometimes storms are a result of sin—ours or others.

It was not God’s plan that I should have been sexually abused as a child and forced to flee home and live under a bridge. It was not God’s storm that forced me into two abortions that nearly killed me. Yet God took the broken reeds left behind by those human storms of sin and depravity and strengthened them into a deeply planted life. He built new structures on the tragic and hurtful experiences of the past to bless my future. God’s blessing explains the success of my two “inspirational” and “life-changing” books, mystery-romance-suspense Bridge to Nowhere, and pro-life adventure-romance Love’s Beating Heart. Neither of those books would have been inspired by calm comfort.

 Welcome storms into your life. You never know what blessings they will blow into your life.

Image