I didn’t say to someone when I was in my mother’s womb, “I know if I’m born I’ll get abused – I choose abuse over abortion.” I didn’t say that because unborn children can’t speak for themselves.
Had I known every heartbreak in my life before I was born, I would still have chosen life over abortion.
Let’s pretend a moderator had interviewed me in the womb.
Moderator: “If you are born, you will face years of sexual abuse from your father. He will start raping you when you are eleven. He will get you pregnant twice, then heat up your mother’s knitting needles and perform two backwoods, medically unsupervised abortions to hide his crime. You will nearly die both times and it will take you weeks to recover. You will miss a lot of school and fail math. He will beat you up, stomp on you, throw things at you and threaten to kill you if you tell anyone. You can avoid all that by being aborted now.”
Me: “There will be some good days and good times. I want to live.”
Moderator: “It won’t be easy even when you escape abuse. You’ll be homeless with no money. You will live under a bridge in the back of a truck. Even on the coldest days of winter, you will wash yourself and your clothes in the river. You will be miserable.”
Me: “I will find ways to cope and become a stronger person because of hardship. I want to live.”
Moderator: “You will have a son. You will spend more than seven years as a single parent, working two and three jobs to make ends meet. One time you’ll be so tired after working all night, getting your son off to school, then going back to work at 11:30 a.m., that you drive your truck to a shopping center parking lot, let your son go visit the toy shop, lock the doors and sleep in the cab in freezing weather. You hate being cold.”
Me: “I want to live.”
Moderator: “You will be heartbroken because your son is chronically ill and doctors don’t know what’s wrong. Seeking medical help, you will drive over Donner Summit in the winter in a truck with no defroster. As you drive over the mountain, you will be constantly scraping ice off the outside, then the inside of the windshield so you can see. The truck will break down and you will be two years without your own transportation.”
Me: “I will love my son. I want to live.”
Moderator: “You will want to be a writer. You will spend 40 years sending out manuscripts and getting rejections back. Working two and three jobs at a time, you won’t have opportunity to research the market. Many times, you won’t have enough money for postage to send out your books. You will get so frustrated that you feel like slamming your head against a concrete wall.”
Me: “I want to live.”
Moderator: “More tragedies. All on the same day, your mother dies and you can’t plan to attend her funeral because your husband is sent home from the hospital to die; your sheepdog dies, and your truck catches on fire in downtown San Antonio.”
Me: “I want to live.”
Moderator: “You will get scammed out of your property by a drug-addicted con, and a pastor you trusted. You will live in an open-ended garden center with no indoor plumbing and no kitchen or bathroom facilities. You will take cold water showers with the garden hose. In the winter, you will put up hay bales and wrap up your little living area in plastic to keep out the cold – it’s all you can afford. Wildlife will share the garden center with you – even wasps and scorpions. You will eat one meal a day and survive on granola bars the rest of the time. The legal system will fail you, and you will be broke and homeless again.”
Me: “I want to live. I might be broke, I might be homeless – but I will never be poor.”
Because I lived, I taught in Christian schools in two different states and remain in contact with some of my former students who claim I had a positive influence in their lives.
Because I lived, I worked on newspapers in three different states, writing stories that uplifted and helped others.
Because I lived, I was honored by God with the most awesomely wonderful son any mother could ever have, the late Marine Corps Major Luke Gaines Parker. Even after his Nov. 17, 2013 plane crash, Luke continues to bless others with the writing, memories, and Christian example he left behind. Because Luke lived, he leaves behind daughter Dulcinea, who makes the world a better place. All that was possible because – first of all – I lived.
Because I lived, I am now married to a marvelous husband, Reverend Alan T McKean, the author of time travel-adventure books The Scent of Time, The Scent of Home and the soon-to-be-released The Scent of Eternity. Because I lived, we live in the lovely Black Isle of Scotland, working together in his ministry.
Because I was abused, not aborted, I have written six “inspirational,” “life-changing” books, which include the pro-life adventure-romance, Love’s Beating Heart – a book which readers say helped them choose life and adoption for their unborn instead of abortion.
Child abuse is unforgivable. It should never happen. Abortion is ultimate child abuse – it tortures the child, then murders him or her.
What about you? Life hasn’t been easy. Would you have chosen abortion over life?
3 thoughts on “Why I Chose Child Abuse over Abortion”
That was well said! I am now one of those crazy people who am actually grateful for the abuse I suffered. I wouldn’t trade the healing strength I have acquired in those broken places for anything. My character, my faith, my love of God, is intimately entwined with those experiences.
Steve, as your sister, I lived through the abuse with you. Granted, some of the worst was hidden from me, probably as mine was from others. Should anyone doubt the truth of your story–they shouldn’t. Our lives have not paralleled each others’; my struggles have been different and fewer. But your faith and strength have sustained me over a lifetime. I get that people disagree over issues; I have told you often that I wish my faith were as absolute as yours. But what I will never stand by and say nothing over is when someone claims that you’re brainwashed–you found the path to faith after being forced into atheism, because lack of moral compass allows the basest behavior always. Couldn’t be prouder to be your sister and I couldn’t be happier that we’re alive. (And I mean that for our brothers and sister, too!)
Thanks, Les. It wouldn’t let me reply to your comment, but your support means the world to me. Our stories are different, but forged out of the same horrendous pasts. Thank God we’ve been able to put our pasts in the past where they belong and move forward. I’m so proud of you and so grateful for you! And to think! You are now the published author of “Unattainable,” “Wildflower Redemption,” and the soon-to-be-released “His Temporary Bride.” Congratulations over again and again! God Bless.