The Sadistic Babysitter

When I was four and my sister Leslie was two, Mom went back to work and left us with a sadistic babysitter—not that she realized that at the time. Les and I cried and complained, but Mom thought we just missed her and wanted her to stay home with us—which of course we did.

I don’t remember the babysitter being as cruel to me as she was to Les. I didn’t understand then and still don’t understand now why she got her jollies out of torturing a helpless two-year-old. Mom gave us baths every night and then cuddled us and read stories to us before putting us to bed.

Horrible babysitter put Leslie in the bathtub every morning and washed her hair—digging her fingernails into Leslie’s scalp until she screamed and cried and then sticking her head under the running faucet until Leslie quit screaming because she was inhaling water and choking and couldn’t breathe. I remember beating on the babysitter’s arm and yelling at her to quit hurting my sister. She laughed at me. The abuse continued.

Additional abuse served up at lunch. She fixed three sandwiches and gulped two down herself. She divided the remaining sandwich between Les and me. Then she peeled an orange. She ate the good slices from the orange. She divided the peels with Les and me and demanded that we eat them even though we gagged on them and cried and begged her not to make us eat them. She wouldn’t allow us to get up from the table until we ate those bitter orange peels.

We told Mom. We told Dad. They didn’t listen to us. But…perhaps they did—because Dad fired horrible babysitter. Leslie and I were sitting at our little table crying over the orange peels at lunch one day when the door opened suddenly and Dad walked in—just in time to see horrible babysitter kick our Siamese cat across the room. He didn’t fire the sadistic babysitter for torturing his children—he fired her for kicking the cat.

Dad didn’t save us—the cat did.

Thus the problem with seeking help from people—even people in our family. Their help is sometimes flawed, because humans—no matter how loving or well-intentioned—are flawed.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

“Give us help from trouble, for the help of man is useless.” Psalm 60:11

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

Why I Don’t Trust the News

A news report showed up over here in Scotland. The headline: “Why Great White Sharks Won’t Enter the Gulf of Mexico.” Immediately after that—I learned that scientists are currently tracking five great white sharks in the Gulf of Mexico, and that great whites frequent Florida’s waters, especially in the winter.

Fortunately, I already knew not to trust the news media during the covid scare when those vulnerable to fear rushed to get vaccinated and are now suffering strokes, heart attacks, and brain injuries at an early age. The vaccine gave my husband Alan Parkinson’s Disease. He’s in the hospital now—again. I didn’t get the vaccine. I didn’t take the vaccine because I am immune to scare tactics, both because I read and believe the Bible which says, “do not fear,” and because I’m a Texan—and Texans tend to be immune to bullying tactics.

There is nothing new in pushing false information—even in schools. When I was in first grade in a Georgia school, we were given pages to color for “fun.” It wasn’t fun for me when the teacher made me color my picture over again because I had used the “wrong” colors. She told me sternly, “tree trunks are brown, the sky is blue, grass is green. She was pushing false information—teaching a lie.

Here in our part of Scotland, the sky is seldom blue. It is usually grey. As for tree trunks, oak and olive trees have grey bark. Madrona tree trunks are pink. Aspen trees have white bark. Young palm trees have green trunks. Rainbow eucalyptus trunks splash vividly with all the colors in a box of crayons—just like my first grade picture that the teacher made me recolor.

Not all reference books are accurate either. My parents bought me a book on herpetology when I was a kid. I read that book from cover to cover several times because of my interest in snakes. It stated that snakes do not come out at night. Therefore, when I got back to my birth state of Texas and heard Charley Pride singing, “The snakes crawl at night, that’s what they say, when the sun goes down. Oh, the snakes will play,” I made fun of that song. I told friends it was inaccurate because snakes don’t come out at night. Turns out my treasured snake guide was wrong; snakes are active both day and night, and I thank the Lord for protecting me all the times I bounded through wilderness after dark with no expectation of meeting a venomous snake. Some of the best photos of rattlesnakes on my Facebook feed are from Arizona—and were taken at night.

Safeguarding us from false information is the Bible. Critics like to claim that it is “full of contradictions.” It isn’t. People who make that claim have never read it for themselves and allowed their hearts and spirits to be amazed and abashed by how this Book—the Word of God that was written nearly 3,000 years ago—is still true and applicable today. Consider the prophet Isaiah. He accurately predicted the birth and death of Jesus in 700 BC. When Christopher Columbus read in Isaiah that “God sits above the circle of the earth,” it gave him courage to sail across the ocean and discover new worlds in an age when most believed the earth was flat and ships would fall off if they sailed too far.

There is simply no way to demonize the message of love and grace that came into the world with Jesus and pins the Bible together: love others and put them first. Forgive others and be forgiven. Believe in Jesus and gain everlasting life. That is a report that the news media can ignore and attempt to silence—but can never overcome, because love is stronger than hate, and lies are but for a moment. Truth is everlasting.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

Always Texas

By the time I was three-years-old I knew I had been born in Texas, and was fiercely proud of my birth state. By the time I was four, I was insufferable. I regularly reminded my younger sister and baby brother that I was born in Texas—and they weren’t. We were living in California at the time. I bragged to my friends that Texas was the biggest state and that everything in Texas was bigger.

I was eight years old when Alaska was admitted to the United States on January 3, 1959. I was devastated when I learned that Alaska was bigger than Texas. We lived in Georgia by this time and when anyone mentioned Alaska to me, I would reply, “When Alaska melts, Texas will be the biggest state again.” I’m still waiting for Alaska to melt.

There is nothing wrong with folks being proud of their birthplace. Love and pride for your country is good and right. However, not everyone can be born in Texas.

God’s love for all of us is inclusive. We don’t need to be born in a certain place or in certain circumstances to get to heaven. Heaven is wide open for everyone who believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and the Savior of the world.

Isn’t it wonderful that we don’t have to do a certain number of pushups to get to heaven? Or win marathons? Or be beautiful or handsome? Or be a certain age? Or have a certain amount of money? Or have wealthy or famous parents? Or be famous ourselves? Or be vegan? Or have a star on the sidewalk in Hollywood?

All we need to do is say, “Jesus, I believe.”

If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:8

We don’t even need to be born in Texas.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

The Reality of Dreams

The idea of “going for your dreams” has been one of my life’s mantras; have a dream; dream a dream; reach for your dream. If you can dream it, you can do it.

When I was in elementary school we used the SRA reading program. I loved it. You went to a color-coded box, picked out a story at your reading level, read the story and answered the questions. Then if there was enough time, you could repeat the process. The stories were fascinating. One of my favorite was about the Loch Ness Monster. I was absorbed by that story. My dream was to go to Scotland and search for the Loch Ness Monster.

I live in Scotland now. I have been to Loch Ness and looked for the monster. Several times. I have incorporated those experiences, and the legend itself, into several of my books.

I haven’t spotted Nessie yet, but I fulfilled my dream of looking for her—even on a tour boat once. But about that dream…the reality of it saddens me. I miss my Texas, USA, home. I miss my family. Most of all, I miss Texas heat and dry and scrumptious Southern cooking.

For those who don’t know, Scotland is cold. Always cold. Even in “summer,” temperatures rarely get above 70F, and if they do—people in Scotland hate it. They say they are “broiling.”

Here in Dunoon, Scotland, it rains an average of 185 days a year. Last year it was more. It rained for days on end. Here we are two months into the new year—and it is still raining. It is still dark. It is still cold. The sun has only shown itself about three times in this new year—and all three times—it was bitterly cold even with the sun.

Many people have dreams. Some lament, “I don’t think my dream will ever come true.” Leave it in God’s hands. Perhaps the reality of the dream is not as quintessential as the dream itself.

I’m not bashing Scotland, nor am I expressing misery over my life, or over chasing dreams. I would zealously guard both the life I have now, and my dreams from others offering to exchange with me or wanting to rob me of them. I have written and published 46 Christian cozy mystery-romance-suspense books while living here in Scotland. All I have ever wanted to do since I was a child is write books. I am living my dream. I have taken brilliant photos—brilliant not because I took them, but because of the subject matter. Scotland is a beautiful country from coast to coast. But it is cold, it is wet, the sky is grey.

Dreams are marvelous. Never give up on your dreams, but make sure they line up with God’s plan for your life. “For in the multitude of dreams and many words there is also vanity. But fear God.” Ecclesiastes 5:7.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

The Winter Sun Lies

Because Dunoon, Scotland, averages 185 days of rain a year—folks flock outside when the sun shines. But winter sun lies.

Actually, the summer sun here isn’t much better than the winter sun—but winter sun lies. I should have known this morning when folks passed by along the street outside our window wearing winter coats and woolly hats. I should have realized that the sun drawing lines through the clouds in the sky was fickle and false.

But out the door went I with body warmer and winter coat unzipped—no woolly hat, no gloves to take our collie dog Savannah (who has enough hair for both of us) on a walk. By the time I made it to the end of our street, my cold ears zinged, my cold hands turned numb, and I was angry at the winter sun who finds it so easy to practice falsehood.

Grass grew greenly pleasing cows. Dogs proudly walked owners with tails curled and prancing steps—but the winter sun did not mend its false ways and send heat. Remote and cold in the sky, the winter sun lied.

However, we human earth dwellers have no justification for judging the winter sun. From little “white” ones to criminally culpable ones—we tell lies. The Bible warns that, “The lip of truth shall be established for ever: But a lying tongue is but for a moment.” And…still…we lie. Just like the winter sun.

The Bible also states that there is one thing God cannot do. “It is impossible for God to lie,” Hebrews 6:18. God does not lie and He promises a return to warmth and spring. Therefore, I can throw on another layer of clothes, smile, and walk under the winter sun in hope.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

Jewels, oh, Jewels

I don’t do jewelry.

When stores here in Dunoon, Scotland, opened again after covid, I was amazed to see so many folks—men and women—flooding into the high-end jewelry store in town. With all the things we did without when the world around us closed down, I wondered why it was suddenly vital to buy something from a jewelry store.

Today I was in that store to get a battery for my watch. While I waited, I walked around the shop gazing at everything in every case and realizing with shock that I not only didn’t need anything, but also, that I didn’t want anything. Had someone ushered me into the shop and said, “Here, get something nice for yourself. Something you really like,” I would have left empty handed. I knew I wasn’t a jewelry person, but my complete apathy surprised me. Of course, had the person handed me money and said, “Get something you really like,” I would have gone for chocolate.

I never have liked diamonds. To me, they are empty, cold, colorless stones. I like ordinary rocks. And I love God’s diamonds—the glistening raindrops sparkling on the edges of leaves after a rain…the diamonds shimmering under street lights after a hard frost; diamonds that radiate with life and color—and point to God, the Creator.

My favorite jewelry is Native American silver and turquoise. I admire the polished blue-hued rocks and the craftsmanship that created each piece. However, I don’t wear jewelry, not even turquoise, and I am equally moved to awe at finding a vein of turquoise in rock cliffs or finding sparkling quartz crystals in the desert indicating nests of hidden gold nuggets.

One of my joys is building with rocks. Two different Texas ranchers near our home gave me access to their properties to collect rocks. Driving around those pastures loading the truck with beautifully colored rocks of the right shape and size filled me with joy that—even as a writer—I am unable to adequately describe. Then the sheer delight of fitting the rocks together like a jigsaw puzzle (I had a rock hammer but never used it) to skirt around houses and buildings, to create a flower bed and rock the columns at our church, and to build raised flower beds and pave between them on our property—moments of heaven on earth. On Super Bowl Sundays while most folks were watching “The Game,” I was enjoying sparsely trafficked roads as I looked for rocks and brought more home. Ecstasy and bliss.

There are two reasons I eschew jewelry and jewelry stores. One, I find beauty in God’s world; the jewel-like orange buds of spring trees, the fragile beauty of brave flowers raising their heads up to paint the land with color. The other reason—God has blessed me with an extraordinary life…but that life is dwindling. If I were to walk into a high-end jewelry store and purchase everything in it…I would be separated from it when I drew my last breath here on earth. My spirit would instantly go to be with Father God. Everything else would be left behind. So at this stage of my life—my focus is less on temporary things I can’t take with me and more on Jesus and His Holy Spirit.

“So a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who fear the LORD and who meditate on His name. ‘They shall be Mine,’ says the LORD of hosts, on the day that I make them My jewels.’” Malachi 3:17.

I’m coming home, LORD, and I’m traveling light.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

When…

When can be a dangerous word. I will start eating less when… I will start exercising more when… I will get that done when…

As a child, “when” was scary. When my father was in a bad mood he donned a white glove and gave the deteriorating antebellum house which was more than a hundred years old and falling apart around us from age and neglect (bees lived in the walls upstairs and the roof was missing from one of the downstairs rooms) the “white glove test.” He would run the tips of his fingers over the top of the mantel where none of us could reach except for him and then blast all of us—including my petite, overworked mother—for our slovenly housekeeping.

Then he employed a deplorable method of punishment for us children who ranged in age from teenage me down to about four. He ordered us into a straight line and made us stand on that line until one of us would confess to whatever other infractions he imagined we had committed. Being the oldest and strongest, I was fairly immune to the belting that targeted the first child to become too tired to stand any longer.

The adult me looks back on those marathons of abuse and deplores my apathy. I wish had been stronger and possessed more integrity; that I had stood in the gap for my younger siblings and had taken the punishment for them or defended them from the injustice. Unfortunately, I did neither. Instead, I was relieved to have escaped the belt welts…this time. It was a short-lived relief. “When” came again and again.

“When” still challenges me. Sometimes it frustrates me. When spring comes again—but it’s so slow. When it’s summer—but it never is summer here in Scotland. When it warms up—which it doesn’t here in Scotland. But “when” no longer frightens me, because I know God now and I trust Him as the good and kind Heavenly Father He is; a Father who does not abuse and whose timing is always perfect.

“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven; a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted…a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has put eternity in their hearts.” Ecclesiastes, Chapter Three.

While I am alive, God is with me. He lives in my heart. When I die, I will be with God. That takes the danger and fear out of the word “when.”

Amazon.co.uk: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

At First Glance

At first glance, the movement was a lizard skittering across the top of the fence plank—only this is Scotland and there are no lizards. The tripping motion across the fence turned out to be gale-force wind pushing one of the limbs down the board.

At first glance, or after a quick glance, I often spot things that aren’t there. When I visited son Luke and wife Delight in Florida one Christmas, I marveled at the Christmas lights in the shape of Texas on the end of a house in their neighborhood. I thought to myself, “Even folks who don’t live in Texas are proud of Texas.” By daylight, I discovered that the lights were bunched around a small window and were not intentionally fashioned to honor my home state.

Tall strangers hanging out around street signs or beside street lights; off-leash dogs circling trash bins; western covered wagons trains that turn out to be old camper van shells—even eyes, faces, and strange shapes amid the laundry in the basket.

At first glance.

One thing I got exactly right at first glance. The timeless, eternal story of Jesus Christ, Lord, Savior, and King above all kings.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son what whoever believes in Him should not perish but should have eternal life. John 3:16.

Every glance at the CHRISTmas story reveals God’s love for us and it never changes.

Merry CHRISTmas, y’all! God bless you.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

It Might Be A Hurt Thumb

Over the past six years, I’ve had major back surgery, a knee replacement, and a hip replacement. The replaced hip became infected, so it had to be taken out and replaced again…followed by three months of hospitalization while it healed. I spent four of those six years on crutches waiting for surgeries. All those things hurt.

My thumb hurts. I don’t need a doctor’s appointment. I don’t need a surgery. It’s a small cut on the outside of my right thumb going down into the nail. But it hurts. It hurts to open Alan’s pill bottles—and between the blood cancer and the Parkinson’s disease he takes a lot of pills five times a day. It hurts to fasten my jeans, to wash my hair, to type (hitting the space bar), to cook, and to clean. And when I accidentally hit it on something—ouch!

How often, I wonder, do we unknowingly judge others because we feel they have never suffered the same things or suffered as much as we have? How often do we think or say, “that person is so filled with self-pity—and they haven’t even experienced all the bad things I have.” Yes, that might be true. But give them a break. Their thumb hurts.

All on the same day, my husband in Texas got sent home in an ambulance to die; our lovely sheepdog died; my mother died and I couldn’t plan on going to her memorial service because I had to stay home and take care of my dying husband, and my truck caught on fire in downtown San Antonio. It hurt. But I try not to judge anyone else who hasn’t been through all those same things—especially all in one day—because now…my thumb hurts. It’s not as major or intense as the other painful things that I’ve experienced—but the pain is just as real.

If you meet someone who lacks Christmas cheer this holiday season; someone who is a bit dour and apathetical—forgive them. Overlook the fault. Their thumb might hurt.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

Writing the Fire

All I ever wanted to do in life since about the age nine was to write books. Ironically—and with much humor—the two things that constantly got me into trouble at school are the two things that have sustained me throughout my entire life: doodling and daydreaming. Doodling because some of my life has been spent painting signs to purchase time to write, and daydreaming because it feeds my writing.

The fuel for my writing comes straight from the heart of God. When the prophet Jeremiah was ordered to quit telling others about God, Jeremiah said, “But His word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, and I could not.” Jeremiah 20:9.

And so it is with my writing. I live to write. I write to live.

Other writers—especially Christian writers—will understand this statement, but sadly others will think it false humility: I did not write my newest book, “Body, Be Gone.” (Not yet released—but should be out within a week.) God wrote, I typed. Often, I had a hard time keeping up with Him. The old laptop I use had a hard time keeping up with both of us.

For writers and non-writers, the encouragement contained in this blog is the truth that God put “Body, Be Gone” together. He is the best ever at putting things together. He created us. He created the world in which we live. You don’t need to be a writer to trust God to put things together in your life. He loves you. He is infinitely able to put thing together for you no matter who you are or what you have or have not done in life thus far. Even if you hate writing and have never written anything. God is the author of your life. He is writing it for you.

Folks sometimes battle depression during the Christmas season. Should you be feeling melancholy and blue—just remember that God is building your life. The dark places and dark times are as important as the silver and gold threads holding it together. In the end—your life will be beautiful and as unique as you are.

Joy to the world, the Lord has come—with all the tools needed to equip and complete us for getting through this life. Beautifully.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update