When a Blessing Isn’t

At times a Bible verse perplexes me—sometimes even for years—until the Lord gives me understanding. For instance, Proverbs 27:14. “He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it will be counted a curse to him.”

Isn’t a blessing always a good thing, I wondered.

The same with Proverbs 25:17, “Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house, lest he become weary of you and hate you.”

Surely friends are always glad to see one another. Human wisdom, not God’s wisdom.

A recent experience taught me that blessings are not always blessings. A couple of days after Jesus took Alan home with him, a Facebook friend from another country sent me an email that she was going to send me an Amazon gift card—a small amount—that I could use to help with expenses. That was extremely kind, especially since I had never met her. I thanked her, but told her not to send anything. She insisted she was sending it regardless.

My computer is fifteen years old and I’m ashamed to say that I really don’t know anything about it or computers in general. I admit to mental laziness. If I think I don’t need to know something, I don’t burden myself with attempting to learn it. I know how to write books; save them; email them to the editor, even attach cover illustrations. But I don’t surf the internet, I don’t open unfamiliar links…I just write.

I had never heard of Amazon gift cards and had no idea of what one was, what it looked like, or what to do with it. Then I got several emails over the next few days complaining that the gift card wouldn’t go through. I thanked her and explained—again—that her friendship was important, not anything she sent. She said she would send it through Paypal. More emails. Had I received it? She had sent it. Why hadn’t I thanked her? Was there something wrong with my Paypal? Could I check it and make sure it was working? Could I set up a new Paypal for her?

Alan went to Heaven and left me behind with a slew of unexpected red tape to slice through and so many hoops to jump through that I grew weary attempting to do everything and get it right. Plus the additional burden of making a decision about rough collie Savannah—take her with me when I go back to the U.S., or re-home her? That meant researching travel expenses and regulations. Add to that the near daily emails about why I didn’t receive her gift.

That’s when I finally remembered the Bible verse that had perplexed me: “He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it will be counted a curse to him.” The anticipated blessing—wasn’t.

Oh, but that’s not the end of the story. When the money was finally sent back to her by Paypal because I had “never accepted it,” it turned out that she had used the wrong email address even though she assured me all along that she had used the right one. No apology for the drama. She said she would send a check.

Groan. Our bank left our little village a long time ago. There is no way to cash or use a check here—even a small amount. It requires driving to the passenger ferry, purchasing a ticket and return ticket, taking a taxi to the nearest bank—which is NOT in the same town where the ferry docks—and then, me being me, getting lost attempting to find another taxi to get back to the ferry from the bank (I don’t have a mobile phone). It takes more than half a day to complete—longer depending on how long I stay lost.

I love my Bible. I read it cover to cover. I believe it cover to cover. And now just one more example of how I know that I can trust God’s wisdom over my human wisdom.

Sometimes, a blessing isn’t.

It will take practically the entire amount of the check to finance getting it to the bank. There might be enough left over for lunch—but I will be wandering around lost at lunchtime.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

My Dog Has Trust Issues

It is disappoints me that my rough collie Savannah has trust issues. I’ve given her nothing other than love and the best possible care I can since puppyhood.

Okay, I admit—the drop foot is a problem for both of us. Drop foot is interwoven into the plot of my Christian cozy mystery, “Hole to Hell Mystery” https://www.amazon.com/Hole-Mystery-Stephanie-Parker-McKean-ebook/dp/B0GDG6T6GS . The condition causes me to fall when the foot I lift up when I’m walking falls down on its own accord. When Savannah walks in front of me she casts frequent sideways glances behind her to make sure that I am still there—and that I’m not about to fall. When she hears my shoe scuff—she runs far enough ahead that I won’t land on her if I fall.

The part about the trust issue that I don’t understand, however, involves the vet’s office. She loves going to the vet. We walk past it nearly every morning and she always goes in to say “howdy” to the folks there. Recently, they have started giving her treats—which has increased her keenness to visit. Our vet’s office is closed on Saturday.

When we walk past the vet’s office on Saturday, Savannah is determined to visit. I explain to her—every Saturday—that it is Saturday and that they are not open on Saturdays. She doesn’t believe me. She will stand at the gate waiting for it to magically open until I shake it and prove to her that it is locked. Then she walks around to the other side and we repeat the performance. “Savannah, the vet’s office isn’t open on Saturday. It’s closed. No one is there.” And, again, she doesn’t believe me and waits for me to shake the gate and prove to her that it’s locked.

She’s an extremely intelligent dog—as most collies are—and it bothers me that she doesn’t trust me to tell the truth. I make an attempt to reel memories through my head and stop the reel at an explanation. The only one I’ve found is that occasionally—and only occasionally—I will tell her, “no treats until you eat your food,” and then I relent and give her a few more chicken strips because it’s bedtime and she hasn’t eaten anything and I hate letting her go to bed on an empty stomach. She has chronic pancreatitis. When her tummy hurts she simply won’t eat. Not anything. Therefore, it is an every-single-day battle to get her to eat even with the medication I give her. So when she eats the food in her dish she is rewarded with hugs, pats, praise—and treats.

Finally, another explanation filtered through my mind. Perhaps she doesn’t have trust issues—perhaps she has incredible faith. Didn’t Jesus say in the Bible that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed we can say to the mountain, “move,” and it will be moved and cast into the sea? (He did.) Through prayer, Jesus has moved many seemingly impossible circumstances and difficulties out of my life and put me on the road to victory. Perhaps Savannah believes that if she stands at the gate and waits long enough—someone will open it for her.

Or, perhaps Savannah is a positive thinker. Christian evangelist and author Nick Vujicic was born with no arms and legs. He travels the world speaking positive encouragement to millions of people. He is married with four children.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s unwavering optimism brought his dream of equality for all people to the forefront and brought about great and positive changes that continue to mushroom and encourage others to share the dream and reach for it.

Helen Keller was deaf and blind. Her remarkable accomplishments continue to inspire millions.

Pastor Joel Osteen’s mother Dodie, who recently died at 91, survived for more than 41 years after being diagnosed with terminal Stage 4 liver cancer. God healed her, but she fought against the killer disease with unwavering prayer and positive thinking—declaring herself healed even when she was so close to death that she could feel it reaching out to touch her.

Perhaps I should let this trust issue go and comfort myself with the fact that my intelligent dog has remarkable faith and/or is a positive thinker.

Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a person thinks in their heart, so are they.”

So we will continue to stand there in front of the gate every Saturday waiting for it to open. And someday—maybe it will.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

From Messed to Blessed

Walking past the corner where blackberries grow I glanced at them and stopped in surprise. They were a mess. They looked terrible—all the lovely white flowers gone. Merely tangled green vegetation left.

Messed to Blessed. Because soon the tiny green mangled mess will turn into red, then black juicy berries.

Isn’t that the same with our lives?

My childhood was a mess. I was a mess. Sexual abuse messed me up so badly that I felt alone, lonely, dirty—and unable to make friends. And I failed math.

My teen years were a mess. I was a mess. Continued sexual abuse. The perpetrator had no medical training. He performed two abortions on me to hide his crime. The abortions sent me to the hospital in intensive care. I nearly died both times. And I failed math.

College was a mess. I was a mess. I discovered I wasn’t really an artist. I was majoring in art. I quit college before I failed math.

My first marriage was a mess. Marrying an abusive alcoholic to get away from home. I married the first guy who asked me for a date. He was twice divorced and had been in prison for Driving While Intoxicated.

Messed up. Bad decisions. Lots of messes. But, oh, the blessings. The biggest blessing in my life—meeting Jesus and discovering that Jesus loved me—even me—even in spite of my messes and being messed up. Learning that I had value as a friend. Learning that I didn’t need to pass math to do life right or to get into heaven.

Second biggest blessing in my life—having a son. A son like Luke (later U.S. Marine Corps Major Luke Parker). A son who kept me smiling, kept me laughing, kept me learning; a son who made me proud every day of his life. Saying goodbye to him was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in life. Returning my biggest blessing to God who gave it.

Fifty blessings in the form of the books I’ve written—most of them Christian Cozy Mysteries. Books written to bless others. Books woven out of the messes and blessings in my life.

May everyone reading this be blessed in spite of the messes. May each mess turn into a blessing.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

The World is Ending!

From the absurd to the possible, “news” headlines shout for attention in both written and media forms.

“Trump Seals Deal With Aliens from Outer Space,” “Trump Hides Conversation With Space Aliens,” “Virus Worse Than Covid,” “Keep Windows and Doors Shut for the Next 72 Hours,” “UK Warned of Meningitis Epidemic,” “Prepare for World War Three,” “Steps to Take After Nuclear Blast,” “Dogs May Be Taken from Owners by Authorities,” “New Driving Laws Punish Older Drivers,” “Late Winter Storm Set to Bury UK with Snowfall,” “Mysterious Space Phenomenon Early Warning for Britons”…

And then I spot two birds playing tug-of-war with a tuft of our collie’s hair to use to line their nests.

And then I see daffodils blazing their sunshine glory in front of a rock fence.

And then I notice buds creeping over the bare limbs of a tree.

And then I lose myself in wonder at the first traces of spring green unfurling in a new leaf.

And then I watch moms and dads walking their children past our house on the way to school.

And then I celebrate a splash of sunshine making it over the top of grey clouds.

And then I marvel in the hills rising behind us, the sea rolling at our feet, the friendly greeting of complete strangers along the path we both take, and the giggle of a baby testing grass with bare feet for the first time—and I remind myself that this is still God’s world.

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:8

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

The Problem with Toothpaste

If manufacturers depended on me to watch their commercials and buy their products—they would go broke. I ignore commercials. I simply don’t notice them, either in printed form or on television.

When I need something, I go to a local store and buy it. Just it. I’m a big believer in supporting local businesses. And I hate shopping. I’m not one to wander through stores going “ooh” and “aw” and deciding that I need something because it is attractively packaged.

Conversely, I have a friend who is a sucker for commercials. She simply has to have everything advertised as “new” and “improved” including toothpaste. She has an unopened box on her bathroom shelf. Details on the box shout how exceptional it is. It declares that it will whiten teeth, repair enamel, improve gum health, and stand on its head and play brass instruments. I may have added the last part.

The point is—the toothpaste is on the shelf. It is available. Yet my friend has not opened it. Her teeth are still discolored from drinking copious amounts of coffee and tea. She complains that her teeth hurt when she eats ice cream. She complained this morning that her gums bled when she brushed her teeth. Yet the new, improved, exceptional toothpaste sits on her shelf unopened. The toothpaste may work all the miracles it advertises—but it has to be opened.

When my aunt Edris died she left me her colorful family Bible. It sat on the coffee table in the living room when I still lived at home. No one ever opened it. We were being raised as atheists. The Bible maintained its focal point in the family room only because the pictures on the cover were colorful and beautiful. I know now what I didn’t know then. The answer to every troubling question people face is in that book. But it must be opened.

Lonely? Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Tempted? Resist the devil and he will flee. Fighting fear? Jesus says, “Do not fear. Do not worry. God takes care of the birds, animals, and flowers—He will take care of you. Problems in a relationship? Women are instructed to revere their husbands and husbands are instructed to love their wives as Jesus loved the church. Jesus died for the church. A relationship with that much love will not fail. The Bible guarantees that a three-fold cord is not easily broken. When Jesus is in the marriage equation it always comes up with the right answer.

If you are looking for answers, they are in the Bible. But you have to open it. Don’t wait for it to stand on its head and play a trombone.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

Lost Hat

The hat in the photo belongs to my son Luke Parker, known in Marine Corps as Major Luke Parker. I bought it for him when he was eleven and we lived in the Great Basin Desert of northern Nevada—39 years ago. Some of my favorite photos are of him playing in the snow wearing that hat.

Since moving to Scotland fourteen years ago I have worn the blue wooly hat nearly every day—winter and summer, because compared to Texas—Scotland has no summer.

When I say I have worn the hat nearly every day, I should add…every day that it hasn’t been lost. I’ve lost count of the number of times the hat has been missing—sometimes for as long as a month at a time. God always brings it back.

Still, even though I’m wearing the hat now, it is a lost hat. Lost because the hat belongs to my son. He left it behind when he moved from our Texas address to his eternal address in heaven. The hat is lost to him. He is lost to the hat—and that’s the point of this blog.

No matter our age, we are all travelers. This earth is not our home. We are just passing through. No matter how many homes we own and how opulent they are; no matter how splendid the furnishings—some day they will be lost to us. They will join the ranks of lost along with Luke’s insignificant wooly hat.

“For we know that if this earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.” 2 Corinthians 5:1.

When God is in our lives nothing is ever lost.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

Giving Thanks for a Wonky Seatbelt

A lot of folks give thanks for financial rewards, new vehicles, new clothes, vacations, trips abroad, dining at fine restaurants. I thank God for a wonky seatbelt.

When the seatbelt first malfunctioned—I was irritated. The tongue no longer stayed at the top where it belonged, but instead, dropped down to the floorboard. Since our car is so small, this means opening the door—almost always into blinding rain and punishing wind—to reach down and retrieve it. It’s difficult to be thankful for uncomfortable and awkward situations.

There are many things in my life for which I am thankful. The wonky seatbelt is a new addition.

My dream since childhood has been to write to write books. I have now written 49, and I am extremely thankful. Before my first book was published I was privileged to write for several different newspapers. I am extremely thankful for that. The situations I faced and the characters I met live again inside my 49 books.

I am thankful to have been born in Texas. I am thankful for the different states I have had an opportunity to reside in or visit: Georgia, Alabama, Nevada, California, Montana, Arizona, Florida. I am thankful for having been born in the United States, and now for my time in Scotland. Enrichment for my life. Fodder for my books.

God has blessed me with a marvelous family; marvelous memories; marvelous pets…and a marvelous life. I am thankful.

Not everything has been good. Not everything has been easy. I survived years of childhood sexual abuse and forced abortions that nearly killed me (performed by the perpetrator who had no medical knowledge or training but was determined to hide his crime). I survived an abusive, alcoholic spouse and divorce in my first marriage. I survived the cancer death of my second husband, and then an annulment from a conniving druggie who left me thousands of dollars in debt. A plane crash separated me from my wonderful son Luke. I have now spent several years as a care giver for my Scottish husband. Hard times, hard things.

Leaving my country was hard. Learning to drive on the wrong side of the road and use roundabouts; the difference in pronunciation of words like garage, aluminium, controversy, schedule, and dozens more—some of which still catch me by surprise. Different spellings. Flavour instead of flavor; programme instead of program; colour instead of color; tonne instead of ton; favourite instead of favorite.

Learning Scottish words like blether, braw, shoogily (shaky), haver (imagine), bairn (child), greet (to cry), stoor (dust or dirt), glaikit (fool or stupid) has been difficult, but these words figure richly in my books that are set in Scotland.

Learning that “tea” is the evening meal—or then again—it could just be tea. Learning that folks who ask to “clap” your dog do not intend abuse—they want to pet it.

I am thankful for all the things that have gone wrong in my life and all my unanswered prayers—which were actually answered. “No” is an answer.

It hurts to see my cancer, Parkinson’s Disease-stricken husband continue his slow decline. It’s hard. But I am thankful that I am here to take care of him.

And I am thankful for the wonky seatbelt.

When I get into the car and the seatbelt tongue is at the top where it belongs, I say, “Thank You, Jesus.” However, it is usually not in the proper position for fastening, so now I say, “Thank You, Jesus,” even when it is on the floorboard and I must fish for it.

And that is why I am so thankful for that wonky seatbelt. It reminds me on a daily basis to thank God. To thank God for the good, and to thank God for what does not appear to be good at the time.

My two favorite Bible verses are, “In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you,” 1 Thessalonians 5:18, and “All things work together for good to those who love the Lord,” Romans 8:28.

The wonky seatbelt reminds me of these verses.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

A New Book for the New Year

God blessed me with an amazing and wonderful son, Luke, known by the Marine Corps as Major Luke Parker. Luke was everything in a son than any mother could ever imagine, yet, I always wanted more children.

I now have 49 kids. The second kid (book), “Dead Body in a Pickup Truck,” is dedicated to Luke and includes the prophetic poem he wrote a year before flying into the arms of Jesus when his plane fell out of the sky.

They can never replace Luke, but I am proud of all my kids. Still, I rarely dedicate a blog to them. “Hell to Hole Mystery” is different. For one thing, it uses the childhood sexual abuse that I suffered as background for the protagonist. For another thing—satan didn’t want this book published. I know that because problem after problem came against it, pushing the publication date ahead weeks at a time—a month in total by its publication today. If satan is against it—God is for it. There are only two gods in this world; the Lord God Who is all good and the Author of everything good, and satan who is all bad and the author of everything bad.

Like my other kids, “Hole to Hell Mystery” is a Christian cozy mystery. I would like to think that all my books are powerful and that readers leave the pages with more than what they brought into them. “Hole to Hell Mystery” is, however, more powerful and thought-provoking than my other cozy Christian mysteries. It is definitely different. My prayer is that it will enrich readers and bless them. That’s what I pray for all my kids, but even more for my newest one since God’s enemy fought so hard against its publication.

Thank you for loving my kids. May they always be welcome in your homes and lives. God bless.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

Dressing for Church

I dress up for church. I put on a clean pair of jeans. I put on an old green T-shirt that says, “God’s Got This.”It’s faded, but it’s clean. And this being perennial cold Scotland, I pull a clean hoodie or pullover over the T-shirt. I slip into my grey shoes. They are just like my everyday slip-on shoes—the same color—but they are newer. Then, the most important part of adorning myself.

I don’t wear makeup or adornments on the outside, but I dress up the inside. I snap on a genuine smile. I shovel out any negative thoughts and imaginations that have piled up during the week. I search my heart for any bad or wrong things banked inside me for which I have not sought God’s forgiveness. I ask God’s Holy Spirit to wash me inside and polish the lamp of God’s Word so it shines brightly with Jesus’ love and forgiveness. Jesus, the Light of the World.

Still, there is one more important aspect of dressing for church. I thank God for everything, past, present—and future. Everything—even the bad and sad things that build my strength and endurance.

A final check in the mirror. The mirror of my soul. Is everything clean and bright and attractive? If I am to have any positive impact on others and be a winning witness for my Savior, I must mirror His beauty.

Off to church. I help with the children—thus the jeans. Some Sundays are chaotic. Some are messy. Some are challenging. They are all blessings. Children are a heritage from the Lord. I am mightily blessed to be entrusted with them on Sundays.

Sometimes I am weary when I get home. I want a nap. But there is a meal to fix, a dog to walk, an immobilized husband who needs constant care. So I go through the dressing up for church again and give thanks to God for everything as we are instructed in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Thanksgiving; the garment for everyday that never grows old or goes out of style.

“Oh come, let us sing to the LORD! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; let us shout joyfully to Him with thanksgiving…”Psalm 95:1.

With thankful hearts, we are always dressed right for church.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update

Christmas First

I’ve had a blog written to share for a couple of weeks. Ironically, it is about all the hindrances that have come against the publication of my new book—which still has not been released. But, that’s okay—because Christmas should come first.

The Christmas Story, as told in Luke, Chapter 2, is matchless.

And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. So all went to be taxed, everyone to his own city. Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his betrothed wife, who was great with child.

So it was that while they were there the days were completed for her to be delivered and she bought forth her firstborn Son and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths and laid Him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn.

Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.

Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign to you, you shall find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths lying in a manger.”

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”

And no book, no blog, no surfeit of words that I can write could compete with that beautiful story. God came down to earth so we can go to heaven.

Merry Christmas. God bless all of y’all.

Amazon.com: Stephanie Parker McKean: books, biography, latest update