Seagull Sex & Romance Writing

Living as close to the water as we do it is impossible to get through spring without realizing that seagulls like sex. The males beat wings of love over the females crying in coarse ecstasy while the females add their own chortles of joy.

God invented sex. It’s biblical. Song of Solomon is a marriage manual for sex. “A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me that lies all night between my breasts…Until the day breaks and the shadows flee away, be like a gazelle or a young stag upon the mountains of Bether…Your lips, O my spouse, drip as the honeycomb; honey and milk are under your tongue…Let my beloved come to his garden and eat its pleasant fruits.”

Since my favorite genre as a writer is mystery-romance-suspense, I’m thankful God created sex. It’s a gift He gave humans to glue their marriages together and keep them intact through difficult circumstances. God’s perfect plan for marriage is presented in the Bible: a man and woman leave their parents, become one flesh, and stick together until death parts them. Marriage doesn’t always follow the guidelines – but God’s plan always works best. Sex helps.

God’s gifts should be revered and valued, not re-gifted or treated as cheap bubble machine ornaments to be given away, tossed or trampled. Sex matters. God intends it to be a gift that a husband and wife open after the marriage ceremony. That’s why my Christian mystery-romance-suspense books are fun, entertaining, clean, safe reads.

My sexiest and most enticing hero in the Texas Miz Mike series thus far is likely Native American Indian Chief Alan Bitterroot. Readers will discover passion, love, and amazing adventure and suspense in “Bridge to Xanadu.” They will also discover two Christian characters facing the ultimate temptation to open the sex gift – with our without marriage. Do they?

Sex is good. It’s not “dirty” or “shameful.” Christians are like seagulls. They enjoy sex. Good thing – because it keeps romance writers working!

From finding a dead body in the dumpster at the sheriff’s office to being straddled by a knife-welding rapist and serial killer, Texas Miz Mike is back in her most gripping and humorous mystery-romance-suspense ever, “Bridge to Xanadu.”

Oh – and did I mention that “Bridge to Xanadu” puts Mike on a collision course with her newest hero and tests them both to see how they will handle the temptation to open the sex gift early?

http://www.amazon.com/Bridge-Xanadu-Miz-Mike-Book-ebook/dp/B00WFC67V2/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1429593376&sr=1-1&keywords=bridge+to+xanadu+stephanie+parker+mckean

qid=1429593376&sr=1-1&keywords=bridge+to+xanadu+stephanie+parker+mckean

Signs, Purple Penguins & Sex

Humans attempt to make their own laws and ignore God’s laws.

Some human-made laws make sense and make life better for everyone: don’t let aggressive dogs run free; don’t clutter the landscape with junk; don’t smoke in public places and expose others to the health risk of second-hand smoke; don’t drink and drive.

However, these laws are already covered by God in the Bible. We have dominion over animals and are instructed to treat them with kindness. We are to be good stewards of God’s creation. We are not to do anything that defiles or destroys our bodies, which are God’s temples. Not smoking or drinking alcohol, for example, would eliminate an enormous number of health, social and safety issues.

Rocks thrown up by the sea in front of a “No Dumping” sign reminded me of the futility of ignoring God’s laws and attempting to impose our own. No joke…a school has decided to call students purple penguins instead of girls and boys. The Bible says that in the beginning, God created humans as male and female. Yet this school will call students purple penguins to be “gender inclusive.” If there is any need to refer to a student’s gender, he or she will be called “the G word,” or “the B word”…or perhaps pizza or hotdog.

Insane. Attempting to supplant God. Just as the “No Dumping” sign is powerless to stop the sea from hurtling rocks along the shore, so are humans powerless to change male and female by re-labeling. God made us male and female. He made penguins – also male and female.

Imagine romance writers like me in a world of purple penguins. We would never sell a book. Gender-inclusive, gender-neutral purple penguins would never read a Christian mystery-romance-suspense like Bridge to Nowhere and Bridge Beyond Betrayal. They would be shocked by cowboy Marty’s male appeal and Miz Mike’s female attraction to it. The same for other books written by other authors. Those poor pitiful purple penguins would miss out on some good books!

Thank Jesus that He is still in control – no matter how many signs we put up and how many labels we change.

Celebrate, all you authors and writers! Calling boys and girls purple penguins won’t stop these future readers from growing up and wading into the thrill of books that showcase characters who are unashamedly male and female…and sexy.

God made sex. Like everything else God created – sex is good!

http://www.amazon.com/Stephanie-Parker-McKean/e/B00BOX90OO/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

Loose the Excuse

Can you imagine my husband’s response if I said to him, “That picture you found of me with another man, well, he and I have a special relationship and I keep his picture with me all the time so I can look at him and be encouraged. We walk together, dance together, dine together, email each other, chat on the phone and just enjoy spending time together – but don’t worry, Sweetheart, I love you.”

I can imagine his response. Divorce. He is jealous.

Can you imagine Mighty God’s response after He led His chosen people out of Egypt, parted the Red Sea for them, and fed them in the wilderness for forty years and they said to Him, “Well, God, no offense – but we like these wooden idols the nations around us have made. We know they aren’t alive or real, but we want to worship them so we will fit in. Not to worry, Mighty God, we still love You.”

God was offended. He is jealous.

Christians today are quick to produce New Testament verses about Jesus’ love, mercy, compassion and forgiveness, all of which are true. But the life-building foundations of the Old Testament are just as valid today as they were more than 2,000 years ago. Jesus said He came to “fulfill” the Old Testament – not destroy it.

Jesus further validated the Old Testament in Luke 10:27 when he agreed with a quote from Exodus and Deuteronomy. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.”

God commanded in Exodus 20:3, “You shall have no other gods before Me.”

We excuse our way around that commandment. “I don’t read the Bible. It’s too hard to understand.” “I don’t attend church. It’s full of hypocrites.” “Sunday’s the only day I have to spend with my family.” “I’m too busy for God now. I’ll make all the money I can for my retirement, then serve God.” “I can’t tell anyone else about God – I wouldn’t know what to say.” “How can I believe in God when bad things happen in the world?” “How can I believe in God when bad things happen to good people?”

There are some questions that not even the most brilliant Christian can answer. We live in a sin-blighted world and because of sin – bad things happen everywhere and to everyone. We need to loose the excuse, whatever it is, and center our lives on Jesus Christ, the Son of God, Who loved us so much that He died so that our bad could be forgiven.

Imagine Jesus failing to loose the excuse. “Father, I think I’ll put off dying on the cross today and go back to Samaria. A lot of people got saved after I talked to the woman at the well.” “Father, it’s too nice a day to die. I’ll go fishing with Peter.” “Father, people I love will mock me, spit on me, slap me around, pound thorns into my head, cut my back to shreds with whips, nail my hands and feet to a rough wooden cross like I was criminal, and hoist me into the air, naked and bleeding to die in shame. I’m not ready for that yet.”

The price for our salvation has been paid in full. Jesus can’t do more. He’s done it all. It’s time for us to loose the excuse, put God first in our lives, and quit serving the idols of this world – fame, fortune, success, sex, pleasure, entertainment – and serve the Mighty God of the universe Who can speak calmness into the storms in our lives.

http://www.amazon.com/Stephanie-Parker-McKean/e/B00BOX90OO/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

Hanger Sex

I credit the late American humorist Erma Bombeck, newspaper columnist and author of 15 books, for alerting me to the fact that hangers have sex.

Actually, I didn’t believe Bombeck when I read it in one of her columns. She alluded to the well known fact that clothes dryers periodically get the munchies and eat socks, but only one of each pair of course – to heighten the entertainment value. Then she disclosed the secret that clothes hangers reproduce.

At the time Bombeck revealed the truth about hangers and closet sex, I didn’t believe her because I could never find enough hangers. When I moved to Scotland two years ago, I still had my doubts. Shirts were hanging two and three on one hanger because of the shortage. Then we had an unusually warm summer here in Scotland, meaning it got about as warm as Texas stays in the winter. And it happened. Scads of empty hangers. Sex leading to procreation, it seems pretty clear about what happens when the closet doors shut and it’s warmer than usual.

Hangers are not the only things that reproduce wildly and crowd space. Mean, cruel, wounding words and profanity steal and kill joy, feeding off the carcasses to multiply sorrows. This is why there are so many verses in the Bible warning us to guard our tongues and use them as trees of life instead of weapons.

I love reading! My choice is mystery-romance-suspense. One reason I decided to write what I love reading is to provide Christians with exciting action-packed books – without the profanity, drinking, and risky lifestyle choices in a lot of other fiction.

Bridge to Nowhere, published by Sunpenny, finds older protagonist Texan Miz Mike hunting down mysteries and romance. She can’t help it that she’s funny and gets herself into “pickles,” she just can’t let an adventure pass by unmolested.

Love’s Beating Heart is a parallel adventure story. Pregnant teen Natasha and best friend Dena find themselves plunging down a flooded river on a quest to “save Baby” from the abortion her parents have demanded. Meanwhile, Dena’s older sister Cat escapes from an abusive boyfriend and is rescued by a Christian homeschooling family. Cat thinks they’re crazy – but she would like to claim dad Skylar for herself.

My favorite of my Christian mystery-romance-suspense books is probably my first, Heart Shadows. Set in the Nevada desert and full of Native American history and desert scenery, Hear Shadows is a gripping story.

Shadow Chase and Until the Shadows Flee are set in the Texas Hill Country, as is the soon-to-be published Fear of Shadows. So…my Amazon Author’s Page will soon have six mystery-romance-suspense books listed on it. It’s expanding – sort of like the hangers!

http://www.amazon.com/Stephanie-Parker-McKean/e/B00BOX90OO/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

How to survive writing…

It’s not writing that’s the problem. It’s marketing. I thought I had ordered such a special Christmas gift for Alan: a publicity firm to get his book, The Scent of Time, noticed. Oh, it got noticed!

Actually, Alan is afraid he might lose his job. Because from the nice, professional press release PRForBooks wrote for Alan and sent out…two of the news papers that didn’t even interview Alan wrote headlines like “Pastor writes Pulpit Porn” and “Pastor writes 50 shades of grey.” I’ve heard for years that sex sells. It must. Alan’s back on the Amazon best sellers’ list! Wonder how all those people who bought his book will feel when they read it from cover to cover and don’t find porn in it? Reckon that’s their problem. Perhaps they will want to read the sequel without being tricked!